Recent Entries to the Complaint Department

  
People (mainly in sports) use the term “unbelievable” way, way too often!! Every time anyone with a microphone asks someone how they feel or what happened, they claim to feel unbelievable (?) or that it was unbelievable. Every great play, idiotic discussion or stupid coincidence revolves around someone saying it was unbelievable, and so on and so forth. Can’t you think of anything else to say, or at least use it in proper context? I’d even settle for a comment like “I feel unbelievably ecstatic“, or “it was an unbelievably fortunate event,” or whatever, but can you at least think of something else to say; use another word from this vast, extensive English language we have at our disposal!… I find it even more, shall I say, unbelievable, that people even use that term at all, since so many people have such farfetched belief systems already. How can that minor event be so unbelievable when you probably believe that it was due to the will of an all-mighty god, who hangs out in the clouds and controls the universe, in the first place?…. Just sayin’




I’m sorry to say this, because I was originally a proponent of him finally getting a show that didn’t involve voice-over in a cartoon, but H. Jon Benjamin’s show (“H.J.B. Has a Van”) on Comedy Central should be removed from television forever; it is truly awful! I like his voice-over work on shows like “Family Guy“, “Archer”, “Home Movies” (or whatever that cartoon show is called where all the character’s hands are the same color as their shirts), and I recently learned that he used to be on Conan’s old show (which is always a plus), but apparently he should have waited for a better opportunity to finally show his face… Because I don’t want to see it ever again. [I would even dare say that show is unbelievably bad, but I would have to scold myself.]




Why are women always complaining about men not being able to pee into the toilet. They have no idea about the stream splitting scenario or other problems that can arise that affect the direction and pressure of one’s flow. If we peed sitting down too, there wouldn’t be any problem, but we don’t. Most often, the biggest issue is the random occurrence of stream splitting, where you aim for dead center, but two streams go off in opposite directions away from where you aim. Let’s just say, that’s not always cat pee in the litter box next to the toilet. Sometimes if we hold it in too long, it’s hard to control the pressure of the stream so it comes out stronger or weaker than was intended, which causes problems too. The real problem is when there is no attempt to clean up after their error, and not the error itself, which is often uncontrollable and sporadic.




I was watching the Cartoon Network, which is one my frequent visits when I go channel surfing, and came across a commercial that I assumed was a joke, but no energizer bunny came out or any other disclaimer. There is actually a child’s game involving a big plastic dog and some play-dough (or at least I hope it is) called “Doggie Doo”. The object is to collect the most dog poo from the dog’s butt. I’m frickin’ serious; this isn’t just some ploy to say poo! Either someone is taking the ‘collect your pet dog’s excrement’ law way too seriously, to the point they want to teach the process to children early, or they were simply out of good ideas for a toy. Maybe I need to get into the toy-making business if that is the kind of crap they produce now (pun intended) .






                These complaints are sports-related but they are still major pet peeves of mine. ----
Sometimes during a game, they will interview a player, coach or whoever or they will show a recorded interview from before the game started. That’s fine, but why do they have to go to a split screen, shrinking the image of the game as it is happening, so I can see the image of this person talking in another small box to the side? I don’t need to see the person talk; just use his voice-over as you show the game on the entire screen, like you do with the announcers; it’s not that hard!! Not all of us have giant 50” screen televisions so we can still see the game footage well enough even when it is shrunken down. More to the point, why would anyone need or want to see the coach or player talking? We don’t! Just show the damn game or better yet, interrupt part of your five minute commercial breaks when the game isn’t being played if you insist on showing someone talking.



The other pet peeve is when a televised game is blacked out, specifically baseball on the MLB network. Local games are blacked out which is typical and makes sense, since local networks are usually going to broadcast them anyway, and I think teams have deals in place so that if the stadium isn’t sold out, games are blacked out on channels like that one because they want people going to the ballpark. What doesn’t make sense is when they offer two different games, depending on your location (labeled regional coverage), one of those games was in Philadelphia and the other in New York (I am in California), and neither involved my local team, yet for some reason they are still blacked out. I pay for this channel to watch things like (believe it or not) major league baseball games, I don’t live anywhere near those two cities and still the many of the games are blacked out? That is what I call bullshyte!